Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize