I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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