you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize