I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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