I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
