dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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