Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
