I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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