Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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