Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
