Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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