PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
third nipple confirmed
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
