i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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