Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You need Xanax blowdarts
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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