i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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