is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
