Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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