so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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