I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
