Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
