wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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