you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Randomize
