I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
