I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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