those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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