guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
