Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
