I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize