i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
