I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
