am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
