So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
