a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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