Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Randomize
