Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
