He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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