I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
