So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Best friends brother. Beat that.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
