so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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