The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
