What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
