I accidentally burped into my bong.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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