omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
