He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
