well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
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