I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
