we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
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