Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
