dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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