my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Randomize