Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
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He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
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This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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