Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
