if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize