a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
