come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
