it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
