Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
