Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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