He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
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Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize